Pretending to be pregnant, really? Some of these thieves stoop so low, you just wouldn’t believe it if you didn’t see it. But that’s where we, loss prevention officers, come in. We fuck some much-needed manners into these thieves. They think they can get away with stealing and lying to us, but they’re wrong. It’s suck it, or I’m calling the police. And they always choose the path of righteousness. They know they don’t mind being fucked into submission - in fact, they like it. Elana was no different. I bent her over the table, searched her, and gave her that ultimatum. God, I love this job…