I heard the jokes you make with your friends about barking for goth and alternative girls. I saw the way you look at girls like Me. I just had to call your bluff. That's why you're here today, new pup. I know those weren't jokes or innocent looks at pretty girls that could kick your ass. You're obsessed with women like Me. You want to SUBMIT to women like Me. So I thought I'd give you a shot to live that reality. Let's fit you with some cute ears, train that bark of yours and test your obedience. I may be mean, but I reward all My good pups if they behave.