Nobody warned me that moving out means paying for everything. Toilet paper, candles, a measuring tape for class... it adds up fast. So I slipped a few things in my purse. Big mistake. Next thing I know, I’m stuck in a tiny security office with a very big guard going through my stuff, and my body, inch by inch. Then he offers me a way out. My first thought? Absolutely not. I have a boyfriend! But when he leaves to “finish the report,” I start panicking. I call my boyfriend. Nothing. I’m pacing, freaking out, and honestly? Kind of thinking about the way he looked at me. So when he came back, I made my choice. He used my measuring tape on his cock and joked about whether it would fit. It did. Every single inch, while he lifted me up and fucked me against the wall until I forgot why I was ever mad. Lesson learned: I’ll never steal again. Probably.