I never lose. I'm really good at putting balls in holes, and whenever I play mini golf, I know my big ass is going to guarantee that I have all my competitors eating out of the palm of my hand. The only thing these guys like more than winning is putting their faces between my buttcheeks and taking a peek at my naked body while they play. Once their cocks are hard enough, it's time for the bedroom, and with a thick ass like mine, you can be sure we'll never skip that step. Who cares about golfing? The only winner here will be whoever cums first.